Aidpage

Hi Patti

I remember writing you and know you from other places but when my pages got lost so did a lot of my postings. Hope you are well and come back here. If not I know where else to locate you at but you are hard to reach.. Maybe you will get this in your email and come by this way again.. 

Wishing you the best of health and I know you have quite a struggle with health.

Love you 

Starshine 

Hi,

Looks like you are a fellow redhead? Being a redhead myself, I am always drawn to other "redheaded sisters,"...we are special and unique...well, I am biased. lol. And, those of us that are naturally beautiful are even more of a rarity...in my humble opinion. I could do without the pale, ghostly white skin (which only looks worse, sometimes greyish or evena less than lovely shade of green, when I am in greater pain or dealing with a flare up of one of my illnesses).

I will say the same thing to you, that many say to me, and, I would venture to bet that you hear this frequently as well,...you are so young to have so much on your plate...especially with regards to your health. My heart goes out to you, as I do not have the exact same conditions/illnesses, I can very well relate to trying to function, and just survive on a daily basis,... as your body is constantly battling, taking on invaders and literally turning on itself. As one of my dear friends here on Aidpage has said to me many times,...it is not "living" - it is "surviving." I have nothing more to offer (at least to my knowledge at this time) other than friendship,...an understanding, empathetic, and compassionate ear to vent to,... without judgement, or even a comment if you want. I know how important it is just to be heard, really have someone listen, validate how you are feeling and what you are going through, without someone telling you how to "fix it," or why you should not feel the way you feel. And, most of those around us, those relatives or friends that are in our lives, get tired of us having a chronic illness, eventually they just don't want to hear it anymore. The story remains the same, and we can't give them the answer they want (that is, if they are still willing to listen to the answer to "how are you doing/feeling?"). Silly us, why can't we just get over it?!? lol. At least that sums up most of my experience with the majority of people (with the exception of my mama, she is amazing and I thank god everyday that she is my mother, I really lucked out).

Anyways, my point (as you can see I am a rambler and often a detailed over-explainer!), is simply that I am hear to be a sounding board, be a support in any way that I can, and if there are things that I can do to help you complete your journey, I am creative and am happy to help. I wish I had money to help so many of us here, as there are so many that are truly stuck between a rock and a hard place, drowning without a life raft, and it is like no one cares,...those with the means are all about making sure they keep their luxuries, and turn a blind eye to all that is crumbling in this society, well, and world,...but I can't go there, it's just too much overwhelming stuff.

I don't know what resources you have come across here on aidpage, as the site can be difficult to really navigate, it's more like dumb luck to come across the "right" people that have researched and put together various possible resources for whatever ails you. There are a few really wonderful members (that I know personally) that are very involved, have spent enormous amounts of time and energy putting together information for whatever cause may be related to their lives, or close to their hearts, etc.  And, once you get in contact with a few of them, share your story/needs, even if they don't have links or suggestions, they will often have ideas and names for those here that might and are very helpful in directing you to someone or something that may be just what will turn out to be the answer...or at least begin you on the right path. Hopefully all of that made sense as I am tired and a bit too achy to fix my mistakes, so please do let me know if I need to clarify anything. 

I am guessing that you have checked out the grant programs under the site modestneeds.org? If not, do check it out, it's not tons of help, but worth a shot, and if you finagel your situation, being creative, you may be approved for something that you didn't originally catagorize yourself/your situation as...make sense? I obviously do not know your entire situation, but I would think that there is a oral surgeon or dentist that would offer some sort of scholarship, discount, small payment plan, etc...I understand that these type of things can be hard to find/ figure out, etc.,...especially when you are dealing with so much else, you are left with next to no energy to find loopholes, jump through hoops, and keep up a search,...trust me, I know. But, as you mentioned about your teeth and infections, this is a very important matter that needs to be taken care of as soon as possible. My father experienced something of a similar nature. He was the victim of shotty dental work, infection got in (without feeling or knowing what was occurring), and the infection quickly made it's way into his brain. He survived, thank god. But, after a long battle. One that turned into so much more than just an infection in his brain.

If you haven't found many people to network with here, let me know, and I can give you some names of those who may have some idea of where to start, etc. I wish I could give you something more. I hope that you accept my offer of friendship. My life has become especially difficult and painful, in numerous aspects, increasingly so, over the last few years...and when I found aidpage, I found around 10 really beautiful, kind, loving souls, all of whom have truly helped change parts of my life for the better.  It is amazing to me that I found these people who really got me and had true compassion for what I live with and experience on a daily basis, no judgement, no assumptions,...they just love me, give me encouragement when I least expect it, but really need it, and care enough to contact me when they have not heard from me...some of these people have been much better friends than those I once called my closest friends, those I would have, and did, do anything for, but turned their backs on me, stabbing me in the back and heart when things got tough. Here, they have welcomed and supported me at my lowest, when I felt the most vulnerable,...the swollen, pained, ugly, fatigued, anxious, not so social nor happy-go- lucky girl, I once was. While I don't recognize myself in the mirror anymore, and I feel so betrayed by my body (over and over - ha, not to mention betrayed by the doctors, attorneys, "good" friends, even family), here, I still had a piece of me that was left to offer, and I found that people actually were "helped" and "inspired" by what I brought to the table. I still don't get that inspired thing, people say, oh, you're so strong,...ummm, not so much, just trying to stay alive. lol. But, it's still nice to hear, especially since I have felt so useless, guilt ridden, and total sense of failure for falling victim to these illnesses that I could not control nor prevent.

Now, it seems to me, that through reading your posts and just feeling the energy from you (I know, I am nutty, lol., i do energy work), that the more you put your needs out there, continue asking for help, that things will begin to come together,...just in a manner that will not be as obvious at first, but, it will happen. Let me know if I can offer any help,...I will keep in you in my thoughts. Us redheads have to stick together! Many blessings, Brenna ~"catluv"